Bloodsucking technology

“Samsung’s Monstrous TV Stand Is Like a Vampire Sorority Girl: Beautiful and Horrible at The Same Time”

Gizmodo

Not to mention the lady who owns them….

“A Suzuki Hayabusa, to be exact — a bike that is already as notoriously crazy as a bag full of wet cats.”

Robert Brockway, Cracked.com

Denied by the Department of Death

“Something shows up on a computer, a jet fires a missile at seemingly nothing and then, a few minutes later, something blows up somewhere that you cannot see. It’s less like “high-stakes plane jockeying” and more like “filing a request for death” that another department, miles away, might or might not grant.”

Robert Evans, Cracked.com, on what aerial dogfights are actually like

It’s the quiet ones you have to watch out for

“Sure, it’s quiet, for a diesel. But that’s like being well-behaved… for a murderer.”

Jeremy Clarkson, on diesel cars

How would you even wear that?

“Far better to reduce everything to a single dumbed-down inescapable standard, relentlessly mediocre and devoid of any color or possibility, like a tapioca straitjacket.”

Jon Evans, TechCrunch, on why Facebook’s comments section should have better sorting options