“You know what we called fruits and vegetables at my school? Nerd grenades.”
John Stewart, The Daily Show, on schools offering healthier lunches to students
“They see the national debt clock staring them in the face. They see a debt crisis, and they just ignore and pretend it didn’t even happen.”
Paul Ryan, comparing Obama to the NFL replacement referees
“Seriously, man. Jews. We’re Jews. When you look at our pubic hair, it should look like Ewoks should be in there….
“That’s right, the foliage in my pubic hair is like the planet Endor. That’s what I’m suggesting.”
John Stewart, the Daily Show, on Anthony Weiner’s lack of body hair